Sunday, August 22, 2010

Insecurity To Identity

Lost and wandering
searching for identity

Fear and insecurity
never seem to leave me

hide behind this
mask

try to hide from
you

slip between the
cracks

afraid to be
true

hide what my body 
lacks

long to be made
new

years of being
lost

my true self
tossed

lost in rages of
jealousy

lack of confidence
fear in response
eyes are watching
people judging
fears dwelling
tears swelling

tired of the
shame

pull me from this
game

stop my
              insecurity

find my 
              identity

heart becomes
nervous

trust He has a 
purpose

smile like a
child

set me
            free

let your love run
wild

mold my
                identity

make me true
pieces of You
fear is falling
You are calling
love is flowing
true identity

begins

growing.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Someone To Sit With/While Witnessing Beauty

Someone To Sit With

My words
They don’t always come out
The way I mean them to.
They show.
My feelings, thoughts, worries…
My
Heart to you
Brain and heart collide.
To tell you.
Feelings I cannot hide.
Brain skips heart
Heart skips beat.
Mutter false words
You shouldn’t have heard
My heart is heavy over my
Mistake.
My heart, it is still
It waits.
For you.
Like an empty park bench
Waiting for company.
Someone to sit with.
Witness all this beauty
The bench waits
Keeps its place
It waits for you.
To occupy this space.


--------------------------------------------------


While Witnessing Beauty

My thoughts
They don’t always think out
They way I want them to.
They show.
My hurt, insecure, lies
My
Used to.
Old and new collide.
To tell you.
Hurts I cannot hide.
Old beats heart.
Hearts beats new.
Mutter angry words
You shouldn’t have heard
My head hangs heavy over
Misunderstanding.
My heart beats, still
It longs.
For you.
Like a wanderer for his
Empty park bench.
Somewhere to sit while.
Witnessing beauty.
My feet ache
Keeping pace.
Longing to be there.
To fill up the space.

2 Months, and 8 Days

2 months, and 8 days.
6.04 millions seconds.
ticked away,
since we became "us",
since God sent you my way.
In 2 months and 8 days
I've learned to forgive
and let my grudges fall away.
You once said, "I love when the cliche
becomes real life."
Even just our 2 months and 8 days,
I know you're here to stay.
In 2 months, and 8 days, you
have given me hope. taught me
how to truly say
"I love you."
No matter what games I play.
I will never have to watch you walk away.
Up this mountain of life I try to climb,
always knowing that when I fall,
you'll be my belay.
wordswords fill my mind. All come from they
they who know not. Then there is you.
Who always sends truth my way.
2 months.
8 days.
1,680 hours with endless
thoughts of the past, present, and future.
70 days, filled with
an array
of words and action
simply to say
"I love you."
Come here.
To my arms.
Please stay.

2 months, and 8 days
has changed my life forever.
In the "best-ever" kind of way.
Ever day, 70 and counting,
you drive away my dismay.
For you, you only, I made
myself be an expose.
Never do you disappoint.
You always have the right words to say.
2 months, and 8 days,
and a few times I have
tried on anger towards you,
never surpassing halfway.
Your eyes.
Your tone.
And I realize, towards you, I could
never be that way.
Every minute.
Every day.
You cross my mind.
I stop. To pray.
2 months, and 8 days
you constantly,
always,
blow me away.
You stepping in to my life,
added in the color. Took
away
all my grey.
2 months.
8 days.
1,680 hours.
100,800 minutes.
6.04 million seconds.
Is just the start.
Of something out of someones
screenplay.
But this is never over.
Stuck on replay.
Although just 2 months and
8 days
my heart knows
you're always
in my life.
Forever.
Here.
To stay.
Never forget that day,
you every wonderfully
walked
my
way.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Needing Healed

fingers laced
eyes locked
breaths steady
mind spinning
lies are winning
memories erased
truths to be faced
stories to be told
damage yet to unfold
jealousy rages
sickness takes its stages
clock ticks
days fade
blood pours
wounds heal
hearts learn how to feel
promises kept
tears swept
wanting love
needing healed
look to God above.